Man Jailed for
Wielding His Tool(s) in Public (8/7)
He was doing something lewd with motor oil, a plastic
bag, and a
claw hammer:
"A neighbor watching the scene, who
wished to remain confidential, told police she had seen Miller walk
around naked in his home with the front window and door open on several
occasions. She said, 'He does it 24/24. He's not right.' "
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Couple Busted for
Craigslist Encounter Gone Wrong (8/7)
If only that homeless lady hadn't witness their rape
scene and called
the cops:
" They fled when deputies arrived, but were tracked down by a police dog. The pair explained that they met on Craigslist while seeking this
type of sexual encounter. The man added that he fled because of his
marital status. "
Dog Clone Lady Once
Kept a Mormon on a Leash (8/7)
She kidnapped and tied him up as a sex slave - maybe
she's having him
cloned too:
"Mr. Anderson was said to
have been wearing a Mormon chastity belt at the time. Joyce McKinney is also
said to have read him religious texts and played him romantic tapes before
sexually stimulating him."
When They Say Full
Service Law Firm, They Mean Full Service (8/1)
We're looking forward to seeing this one on
Law and Order:
"The lawsuit accuses Laminack of demanding sexual favors from male and
female employees, encouraging Robinson to perform sex acts on a witness
who was not "doing well" during a deposition. "
Doctors Try to Nip
Designer Vagina Craze in the Bud (8/1)
Soon you'll be getting spam promising lovelier
meat curtains:
"Women should understand
that there were a large number of variations in the appearance of
normal female genitalia. 'We feel these operations might prey on
people with insecurities and fears who actually need psychological
help.' "
Museum Exhibits
Wildlife Gone Wild (7/25)
One-stop shopping for voyeurs, furries, and
art lovers:
"`Deer Threesome' catches Bambi in a three-way with two
amorous stags. Then there's `Gay Dolphin Blow-Hole Sex,' in
which a fin substitutes for the penis. Both partners look happy."
New Boy Scout Merit
Badges: Alcohol, Tobacco, Porn (7/24)
Apparently each troop gets to define their own
standards for
"morally straight":
"He allegedly showed two teenage staffers pornographic films on a laptop
computer. The teens reported that Johnson offered one of them alcohol
and cigarettes. "
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Viagra for Women...At
Least Worth a Try (7/23)
New study says the drug might help women on
antidepressants:
"Hensley said she has tried Viagra on a few of her female patients. 'I
think it's worth a try. It's a pretty benign drug. It's either going to
work or it's not,' she said."
Next Time Stick With
Jacques Cousteau (7/18)
Guy gets off the hook for kiddie porn - he just meant
to get
octopus porn:
" 'Without the opportunity for normal sexual relationships fantasy is often indulged,' the judge said yesterday. 'It also emerges from the report that you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth.' "
Putting the "Dick" in
Valedictorian (7/16)
Same guy responsible for paging Jack Mehoff and Mike
Hunt over the
school
PA:
"A 19-year-old man must make an apology to the city of Saratoga Springs
for dressing as an inflatable 6-foot penis and then parading across
SPAC's stage at the high school's graduation last month. "
Why Bill Clinton Takes
Public Transportation (6/26)
Washington transit employees got caught running their
own
love train:
"At one point the employees used the Metro loudspeaker system to
facilitate an illicit sexual arrangement, according to police who
arrested the pair last week. "
Snow White and the Dwarf Pimp? (6/23)
This sounds like Law and Order: SVU meets a
side show:
"Jacqueline Green, a.k.a. 'Shorty,' due to her 3 foot 9 inch height, is
charged with promoting prostitution and child endangerment for
allegedly pimping a 15-year-old that ran away from a troubled home. "
Call of the Girl Chimps
Gone Wild (6/18)
Your girlfriend the screamer may be trying to attract
other guys:
" ' The female chimps we observed in the wild seemed to be much more concerned with having sex with many different males, without other females finding out about it, than causing male chimps to fight over them.' "
Aren't You Supposed to
Kick the Tires? (6/16)
British driving instructor busted for having girls
kick his crotch:
"The 32-year-old twice stripped naked from the waist down, crouched on
all fours on a towel in woodland near Bicester and encouraged four
girls to kick him in the groin until he could no longer handle the pain. "
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